Hannah.... 18 months

It's been more than 2 months since I posted.

We've been slightly busy and I've been slightly anti-blogging. But we're back. I have some funny stories to tell... mostly dating stories, that I'm sure will highly entertain you. But for now... Hannah is 18 months old.

What is an 18 month old Hannah like??
- Size 5 diapers
- Size 6 shoes
- Size 18-24 month and 2T clothes
- When mommy says "come here" she runs away
- She gets time outs
- She can officially get out of her crib on her own (she did it for the first time twice last night, once with Addi's help and once by herself).
- She can sit through about 15 minutes of a movie if she really likes it
- Sings songs on pitch
- Clings onto mommy/grandma, but is getting adventurous
- Is VERY adventurous on Sundays and will do everything but stay in our row
- Is not very fond of nursery but doesn't cry the entire time (Sunday will tell)
- Is a sporadic eater... sometimes she'll eat something and the next day she'll want nothing to do with it
- Loves Addi
- Loves to pester Addi
- Loves to copy Addi
- Loves to snuggle with Addi
- Loves to get into mischief with Addi
- Is really starting to like books and will pick out books for us to read
- Loves being outside
- Loves pushing around her baby stroller and taking it upstairs, downstairs, outside, etc
- Is the biggest ham ever
- Gets tan very quickly and is definitely darker-skinned than Addi
- Shares a room with Addi now and they have too much fun
- Tells you what she wants or doesn't want
- Says "Addi, Grandma, Mama, dog, cat, apple, thank you, uhoh, cheese, mine (that's new as of today), no, bubble, ball,.... " and more of course

Last night Hannah got out of her crib (for the 2nd time ever), after a while I went in her room to put her back in her crib and her crib was full of stuff. I thought it might be blankets or stuffed animals. Then I realized that it wasn't blankets, or stuffed animals, but her clothes. She had almost completely emptied her drawer of clothes, carried them across the room and put them in her crib. It probably to her 15-20 trips back and forth. Persistence.

ballet class

Things I never thought I'd say...

"You poked your eye with an umbrella in ballet class?"

Hannah peeking in at her sister

Lately

I haven't blogged lately and I don't feel guilty about it.

Hannah. 15 months.

Hannah:
- wears size 4 diapers
- wears size 5 shoes
- wears size 18 month clothes
- can have pigtails
- loves to be outside
- sleeps from about 7:30pm-6:30am (sometimes still wakes up once)
- loves to "go upstairs"
- can go up and down stairs without causing me too much of a heart attack
- can say: uh oh, Addi, mama, tada, dog, ball, and thank you
- shakes her head for yes and no
- can sign: more, milk, eat, and please
- likes to push Addi's buttons
- at the playground can go up the stairs and down the slide by herself
- thinks going down the slide is the greatest
- loves swinging
- sleeps with a stuffed puppy, a pink bunny (that plays a song) and a cup of water
- still uses the carseat she used when she was born
- likes to "help" with laundry, dishwasher, picking up toys
- likes to eat chapstick
- loves to take baths
- giggles when she gets wet from the squirtbottle when I'm doing her hair
- loves blueberries, raisins, blackberries, raspberries (Addi never liked any of those)
- wants to eat whatever you're eating... until she tries it and spits it back out
- loves to play "tea party" with her sister
- can climb up on the kitchen chairs
- is not interested in TV
- is not super interested in books
- rather role-play then do anything else
- has spent one day in nursery all by herself... and was... sad-faced
- loves singing/dancing/playing my guitar
- wants to do/play with whatever Addi's doing/playing with

I remember what it was like

I was going back through old blog posts, that I never shared... I thought I'd share this one that I wrote January 23, 2012. It's a little more down-in-the-dumps than I currently feel, but I do remember feeling this way, and I'm sure there will days where I these feelings will come back up:

I remember what it was like looking at those young children, sitting with their mom, knowing that those children didn't have a clue that their lives were not "normal".

I remember pitying those poor children who were innocent in the entire thing, yet their entire futures were turned upside down by selfish adults.

I remember thinking, "this will affect those children forever, and they will never be who they could've been."

I remember thinking that those adults should have tried harder, they should have prayed more, read scripture more, spoke more kindly, yelled less.

I remember looking at those poor children and feeling SO incredibly sad on their behalf.

But now I am that mom, alone with my children, and I don't feel that way at all about myself, or about my own kids....

But it's very likely, that the isolation and loneliness that I sometimes feel (usually when I'm PMSing) is due to others thinking those exact same things about myself and my children.

Being judged is the worst.

Being judge and pitied is beyond the worst.

I mostly just zone it out. Because I don't feel that way about myself or my girls.

But sometimes, I let myself process the external, and it makes me realize WHY. Why I am sometimes so alone, and feel so isolated. And I'm not even angry at the people who do it. Because I used to do it.

I understand. It's just the way it is.

I'm not depressed or sad about this. But I just have to remember what I would've thought of the divorced 20-something-year-old with 2 kids. But since I'm her now, I get it. And I totally understand if others don't.

The evolution of my plans

My plans are constantly changing... I mean, really. I may be the most indecisive person ever. It's so hard when you have so many "good" options, and you're trying to figure out what is best.

The evolution of my plans is as follows...
Going to:
- Be a PE Teacher
- Stay-at-home
- Work part-time
- Substitute full-time
- Substitute part-time
- Stay-at-home
- Take the LSAT and apply to law school
- Visit Utah's physical therapy school
- Going to apply to physical therapy school
- Move to Texas
- Find a full-time teaching job
- Stay-at-home
- Invest in my wedding photography business
- Stay-at-home during the week; Shoot wedding on the weekends
- Apply to law school
- Take pre-reqs for physical therapy school
- Apply to law school AND prep for physical therapy school
- Just apply to law school
- Just prepare for physical therapy school
- Be a full-time teacher and do photography on the weekends
- Be a part-time substitute and do photography on the weekends
- Be a full-time teacher and not re-sign with Austin Wedding Guide

As of now my plans rest there. But odds are I'll tweek them a little bit in the next few months.

I'll still be doing photography, just not taking the time to actively market myself. I'm having to choose between good, better, best right now. And I think I'm almost to figuring out what's "best".

Addi: 3.5 years

Addi is closer to her 4th birthday than to her 3rd.

I might be semi-freaking-out.

I tell her to "stay little forever"... but she says that "growing up is fun!"

So if you find the "pause" or "slow-down" button for life, please let me know.

Addi:
- Wears size 4T/5T or 4/5 clothes
- Wears size 10 shoes
- Is in the 90th percentile for both height and weight (my little linebacker)
- Has long brown hair
- Has dark brown (almost black) eyes
- Loves to play
- Can play forever by herself
- LOVES her friends, but doesn't get to see them enough
- Loves going to preschool, mostly because there are "friends" there
- Is a Sunbeam at church
- Talks in a high-pitched voice when playing with dolls, barbies, princesses
- Wears a tutu any time she can... to bed, to the store, to the library, EVERYWHERE
- Loves ballet class and takes it pretty seriously when she's in the class
- Talks and talks and talks... she must have learned that somewhere... :)
- Can say mealtime prayers and bedtime prayers by herself
- Bedtime routine: Jammies, story, brush teeth, sing songs (I Am A Child of God, I Love to See the Temple and Popcorn Popping), say prayers, tell story (we retell the story of her day, sometimes she tells it, sometimes I do, sometimes it's a mixture).
- Has been known to say "you can tickle my back if you want to..."
- Loves her stuffed malti-poo dog named "Malti"
- Is great at coloring
- Has trouble with drawing, we're working on that
- Still loves to read
- Loves to play outside, in her "dollhouse" (a playhouse)
- Loves playgrounds
- Loves bounce houses
- Is the type of person who loves anything you ever get them. If I were to get her new socks she'd probably say something like "that's what I've always wanted!" or if I got her a can of spinach she'd say "oh!! I'm so excited!" or if I got her a bag of rocks she'd say "yay! yippee!"... You cannot get this child a bad gift
- Loves music and singing.
- Knows the words to TONS of songs... it's unreal
- Recognizes all letters and numbers, now we're working on lowercase and writing the letters
- Loves her little sister so much... she'll go up to her and say "tickle tickle"
- Sings songs to Hannah in the car if Hannah is getting fussy
- Tells Hannah "oh.. you miss your mommy" if Hannah's sad
- Loves to love on Hannah
- Loves to snuggle mommy, grandma, and Hannah
- Loves going to the library and listening during storytime. Most of the kids sit with their moms, but Addi likes to be front and center by herself
- Loves to play store in her kitchen set... she likes to buy things, I run the store
- Is great at picking up things
- Does not like when she is called "Boo" anymore (that used to be her nickname)
- Likes all of mommy's friends
- Is great at doing puzzles
- Loves when things are clean
- Makes her own bed
- Can dress and undress herself on her own
- Loves to be tickled